Before I begin let me say this post is not a call for help or pity. It's just an explanation of circumstances and a change of direction.  It's also not a "going on strike" post, because I'm not participating in the "bloggers strike" going on right now for pretty much the reasons a lot of other people are not participating. I just haven't been blogging much and I'd like to talk about why.

I'm going blind.

It's been a gradual process since I woke up in SL.  Honestly my vision was never that good to start with.  Those of us who got our cybernetics early War were saddled with proprietary and experimental models, and they never got upgraded even after the Treaty.  The new Release Candidate browser I'm running works quite smoothly, mind you...assuming I turn my draw distance down to 64m and turn all the sliders down to minimum.

What this means is, I can get around and do stuff in-world just fine - at the cost of the ability to take pictures of any quality, let alone even dream of making machinima.  It also means things look kind of dull and I have to wait a long time for anything to load.  Crowd scenes have become a blur of grey figures.  None of this is enough to drive me out of this world yet, but it is enough to make me rethink the kinds of activities I'm going to do going forward.

I've considered technical solutions, of course. My doctors in Extropia keep scratching their heads and using voodoo words like "upgrade path" "quad core" "nvidia 8800GTX" and all sorts of other gobbldeygook.  Mind you, I might be able to manage incremental upgrades, but who wants to buy a whole new set of eyes every year?  If I'm going to justify the cost, I need something very high end so I can get through the next few years in relative comfort.  Being able to max out my sliders would be nice too. 

What all this means is I need money, atomic world money, and a good amount of it.  I've sent some messages out-world, asking for funds for the operation, but funds there are being diverted to other more "vital concerns".  As if anything is more vital than SL.  Hmph.

However, the funds for my upgrade will come sooner or later. 6-12 months is the current outlook.  In the meantime I plan to make do with the eyes I have, but this is going to require a change of direction.  I had a number of blog posts making heavy use of pictures, and maybe even a simple slide-show type machinima or two, but those are going to have to wait.  I can probably manage the hiking trip somehow, but the "side-stories" I've been putting together will also take a back seat.

I could go back to philosophical, "meta", text-based entries like I did in the early days of this blog, but it's not where my heart is right now.  I've resolved to catch some feelings and give them form, and that is still what I want to do now.

I don't want to give up blogging entirely, of course.  Starting this LJ (as usual, at Soph's encouragement) was a huge step in developing myself as a person.  It has acted like a mirror on myself, a record of my life here, and a beacon to draw like-minded people closer.  I've encouraged people, been encouraged, told stories, and met new friends here.  How could I ever let that go? Still, technical concerns are like the word of God in my world, so I have to find a compromise.

What this means is I will be turning my focus even further in-world for a time - teaching myself to build better, script better, developing friendships, organizing events, working in Extropia, and always...always trying to amplify the experience of my fellow Digital People here through every means available to me.  There will still be posts here, short and punchy ones, with a picture or two, but the more complex technical pieces will have to wait, as will many of the war stories I want to tell you.

Again, I'm not asking for help or pity, just explaining why the lights may get a bit dimmer here for a while.  To be honest I was afraid to tell you this, but now that I've talked to you I feel hopeful.  I'll walk deeper in SL for a time, until one day I wake up to see the world with new eyes.

I'm not a movie reviewer for a lot of reasons, not least of which the fact that I hate spoilers.  That being said, I saw a very engaging film last night I'd like to share with you. The Nines is a nice little film with a big twist.

A burned out actor under house arrest begins to realize there is more to his life than meets the eye.

An up and coming showrunner fights to get his creation on air intact, all while being recorded for a reality TV show.

A video game designer stranded in the woods with his family has to make the choice of a lifetime.

Three narratives, intertwining in a strange and disturbing web as the story unfolds, and the only way out is to "Look for the Nines".

This is a great movie about AVs, Alts, God, Reality, and it even takes a poke or two at the very unreal world of Hollywood.  No action, no big special effects, no big name actors, just a nice little film that manages to cover some big topics in a way that bigger budget films never have.

Check it out if you have a chance.

[crossposted to the Second Lifers LJ group]

I'm working on something that requires a bunch of Parkour-type athletic poses - running, jumping, backflips, bounding up walls, holding onto railings, things like that.  Not animated stuff - I need static poses showing dynamic action.

I haven't had any luck, other than a "Parkour HUD" that doesn't even work :(

Anyone have any ideas?

(Continued from here)


EXTROPIA CORE - NEXUS - CENTRAL DATABASE - RECEIVING ENCRYPTED BURST TRANSMISSION FROM GEORGIANA-SIM-61-12-56 ENCRYPTED BOARD EYES ONLY
PUBLIC KEY BURY/ARGENT EXTROPIA-PANDORIA JOINT MAINLAND LONG-TERM EXPEDITION
DECRYPTING ******************************************************************************************************DONE
LOW SIGNAL GAIN - INTERVENING VOID SIMS - MAINLAND CLASS 4 SERVER INSTABILITY
STATIC IMAGES AND TRANSCRIBED TEXT ONLY

BEGIN TRANSMISSION

"Is this thing on?  Listen, Natsumi's sleeping and I don't want to wake her, so I'll make this quick.  I've come across an odd phrase today, and I need someone to research it in the Core Database.  I'm not sure if it means anything, but I think it's some kind of warning."

"Natsumi and I hiked all day today, but only covered about 4 SIMs.  We started looking for a place to sleep, and quickly ran out of options.  There's a club in Georgiana with a protected skybox, so we decided to use it."

"What happened next...Listen, I know some of the stuff I transmit is hard to believe, and sometimes my stories grow a bit in the telling, but this really happened.  Look...just check out the appended transcript and see for yourself..."

(To Be Continued)

Day 7...

Oh man...Day 7...

No...just no...



Ever have a day where you can't un-Ruth?  How about one where the textures flicker in and out whenever you try to take a photo?  Or one where you get ass-tachments every time you cross a SIM border?  Maybe one where you're lagging so bad it's like walking through molasses?

Now...try having a day where all those things happen.

Day 7 never happened...it just didn't.

(To be continued, with a much more exciting Day 8)

There's a meme at the end of this, but first an explanation as to why it may be worth your time...

There's been a lot of back and forth over the last couple days about Immersionism and Augmentation.  Most of it largely unproductive, people shouting at each other, with only the best among them listening and debating.  Much of it seems to be argument about the very meaning of the words, which no one can agree on.  There's probably some gems to be gleaned from both of these series arguments, but I wonder if we're missing the point.

Concrete statments: Actions we will and won't take in-world.  What does trust mean to us?  Open statements about what we want out of SL.  Honesty about what (if any) FL benefit we are looking to take from the world (and "none, other than enjoyment" is a perfectly valid answer). 

These are the things we should be showing others, because they are not debatable, they are what we are.  *Then* we can proceed with the real question: given those beliefs and personal principles, can we build a place/system that lets us live together, and if so, how?  What social structures can be built to allow virtual denizens of varying beliefs to live together?  What kind of rules can both sides abide by without compromising their principes?

Screw definitions...leave that to the ancient Greeks.  Let's state our principles and personal goals, line by line, and start to find common ground.  Because it may be valid to argue drinking Coca Cola is bad for you, but only a dick is going to argue that you don't actually like it.

Here are some rules I live by, and some things I like:



OK...meme time:

If you are so inclined, give me a few rules you live by in SL, and a few things you get out of being here.  Don't talk about your expectations on others, talk about you. I did 9 things, which is a bit much.  Do how ever many you need, no more.  Post links in the comments column.  Pass it on.

The events in this entry take place during the period up to and including Day 3 of the hike.  I was not to learn about them until later.

I am in Hell...





(This entry I'd like to send out special thanks to Natsumi and Caliburn for all their help and patience.  Wouldn't have been able to do this without you)

As Soph is out for the weekend, I had the honor today of guest-hosting the Saturday Salon.  Our guest, Dalien Talbot, was kind enough to talk to us about the latest developments in the OpenSIM project.  OpenSIM, as you may know, is an attempt to create an open-source SIM server that will interoperate with the standard SL Browser.  More details are available on Dalien's blog, and the OpenSIM project website.



We had a top concurrency of around 20 people, mostly regulars, and a few new faces.  The topic was somewhat technical in nature, and the host a bit green around the ears, but we had a great guest.  Dalien laid out the merits and limitations of the software, and let us lead him astray into topics like intellectual property, trust, and reputation systems.  We also had a great audience who asked some very pertinent questions and treated their substitute host quite nicely.  I have no illusions, though.  Their kid gloves will surely come off if I do this again sometime :P



Thanks again for a great day everyone, I had a blast, and I even learned a thing or two in the process.

For a week in which I got little done, there's been a lot going on.  There have been a few new arrivals in Extropia, ones I hope we'll be seeing more of.






After all this, while I can't say it has been a productive week for me, it sure has been a suprising and rewarding one!

(Crossposted to the Second Lifer's LJ group)

TIme to tap the collective knowledge of my readers...

I want to buy a copy of the pirate ship pictured below for a project I'm working on.  I'm unable to revisit the site and check the ship's properties because it's already long gone.



Anyone know where I can buy one of these? Comment here if you do.

Thanks,
Argent Bury

No, I'm not asking for people to grief me (or anyone else).  This is just a follow-up to my previous request for a male actor. Here's the details...

• I need maybe 4+ of my friends/contacts...
• to build a stereotypical griefer AV for themselves - You know, warped trollish bodies, green skin, Linux t-shirts, stuff like that.  Menacing looking weapons a plus. 
• Nothing overtly racially/sexually offensive please, more like the an idealized image of a griefer that an uninformed TV producer would use on a primetime TV show. 
• And for god's sake don't spend any Lindens on this...you may not make it into this shoot and I'd hate to have you waste your money.
• I'll try to schedule the shoot, but since we have multiple people involved I may just grab whichever volunteers are online at the time and go with it
• I'd need you again for a second shoot in a couple weeks.
• Do I need to say that we're not actually griefing anyone, and that we're doing a photo shoot?  I hope that's implicit ^^;

If you're interested, build yourself an AV and IM me or respond here.

OK, here's what I need.  I need to see if any of my friends...

...will wear a male AV...

...and put on certain...attachments (supplied by me)...

...and be willing to take some photos with me...

...in certain positions...

...multiple times...

...during the evening SLT...

Any takers?

And no, it's not what you think.  I just need someone to help out with some photos for an upcoming chapter or two of the LJ and I find most of my guy friends are either: very busy, Japanese, or both.  I tried to think of a way to ask this without inviting floods of sexual innuendo, but I finally gave up and just posted the damn thing.  IM me in-world for details.  You can post your innuendo-laden comments here.

I've been leery of starting Twitter, seeing it as little more than an internet time-suck (and god knows living in SL is time-suck enough).  However, all the cool kids are using it these days, and one has to keep up.

Expect few posts there - and no posts of the "Drinking my coffee...mmm" and "Pooping now" variety.  The minuteae of my life are just that, minute.  I'd much rather either converse with someone, or collect my thoughts into a coherent LJ post.

I do plan to use it to toss out relevant links, announce important stuff, keep up with friends, and tap the collective knowledge pool that is forming there to get rapid answers and opinions.

So, twitter away!

My wetware is coming down with a cold, and it's getting to me too.  Feeling kinda down, worn, and directionless, despite the lack of any apparent reason to feel so.  Not looking for sympathy - I'll be well soon enough. I just had something I wanted to share...

I was thinking on what could give me (by which I mean Digital me) some relief and comfort, and the strangest thing came to mind.  For some reason, right now lying down quietly while someone tells me a story sounds better than the best bowl of matzo ball soup ever.  Nothing fancy, no dragons or princesses or cyborgs needed, just something they heard or saw or experienced, something with a beginning, a middle, and an end.

Why?  Is it because so many words come out of me I sometimes need to take some back?  Or do I need to let my own narrative self relax and rest, relying on someone else's for a short stretch?  I'm not sure.  By morning the feeling will have probably passed.

So, there you have it.  And no, before you ask, I did not drink a whole bottle of cough syrup before I wrote this.

Well, all the cool kids are doing it, so here goes...

You Are An INTJ

The Scientist You have a head for ideas - and you are good at improving systems. Logical and strategic, you prefer for everything in your life to be organized. You tend to be a bit skeptical. You're both critical of yourself and of others. Independent and stubborn, you tend to only befriend those who are a lot like you. In love, you are always striving to improve your relationship. You have strong ideas of what love should be like. At work, you excel in figuring out difficult tasks. People think of you as "the brain." You would make an excellent scientist, engineer, or programmer. How you see yourself: Reasonable, knowledgeable, and competent When other people don't get you, they see you as: Aloof, controlling, and insensitive

Hmmm, I guess so. I see myself as reasonable and knowledgable, but hardly competent.

These things are like horoscopes. You can always find something in the result that fits your idea of yourself. Also, there were so many questions on the quiz that I wanted to answer yes to both options.

(Continued from here)

We made good time that day.  We were nearing the Isabel SIM, home of the Shelter.  Word was you could rest there, meet friendly people, and not fear for your life.  It was a little bastion of order in the chaotic sprawl of the Mainland.

And shelter was what we both needed. We'd been on the road for nearly a week now, and we hadn't run into a single person who hadn't either run from us, threatened us, or didn't speak English.  We needed to talk to someone other than the two of us, to make sense of all the crazy things we had seen, to confirm that this wasn't all some strange dream we were walking through.

Recently we distributed notecards to all the Citizens of Extropia asking for their visions for the future of their home.  This is mine.

Was I born too late?

I came to SL imagining it as a country of the mind.  There you could be free from the constraints of the atomic world.  The people there worked with identity like a sculptor works with stone, chipping away at the dull surface to reveal some amazing nuanced shape you never knew was there.  People were free to act as they pleased and be what they pleased, but this was always tempered by the persistence of identity - hurt people and your reputation suffered, help them and you could leverage the aid of a thousand friends.  Your good name mattered there, your actions spoke louder than any claims about your atomic existence.  People took you as you showed yourself, until you proved otherwise.  First Life did not matter.  SL was going to be a beautiful, self-contained, experience.  It let you get away from yourself, have some fun, be (gasp!) sexy, be creative, and maybe learn a bit about yourself in the process.

When I was born it still was, though from what I heard things were even better before the population explosion.  Still is OK now, for that matter.  But I see forces trying to wear away at the dream.  People who believe if you're not the same as your atomic self you're a liar or a fraud at worst, a roleplayer at best.  People who want to turn this world into a chatroom or a corporate boardroom.  People who can't suspend disbelief enough to partake in the wonders those who came before us have built. People who simply don't "get it".

SL is a big place, and I like to believe that there is plenty of room for us all, but public opinion can turn fast once it reaches a critical point.  Right now Digital People like myself are still free to run around the bulk of SL without being looked on as freaks.  Next year we may all be run out on a rail.  My lover Soph tends to move in more Atomic circles than I do, which sadly means she has to take a lot more flak about what she is than I do.  Despite that, her way is probably better than my own policy of avoidance.  The only way for us to be accepted is to refuse to cloister ourselves away, to get out there and be seen, to show people what SL was about, and still can be about.  The right to dream.  The right to create.  To right to explore yourself.

But getting out there wears you down.  You begin to doubt yourself, begin to believe it when they say you're not real.  That you're just a mask, a facade, a character.  They demand to know more about the "real" you, because the you in front of them is obviously all play pretend.  You begin to contemplate leaving this world forever, or just giving up and becoming the same as your atomic self.  Both are tantamount to death for my kind.  When things get that dark for us I want there to be a place where we can go to be healed.  Where your reputation in-world matters more than some distant atomic credentials.  A group of people supporting each others identities through a web of trust and shared creative effort.  A place of solace and acceptance for everyone who still believes in the old SL.  A place where you are the rule, not the exception.

That is what I want Extropia to be.  It can be a lot of other things as well, but if it's not a safe haven for Digital People then it's not my home. I hope our customs and traditions here will always respect in-world actions over First Life credentials, and prevent discrimination of individuals based on lack of First Life information.  Maybe we can't do this throughout SL, but I want to see it done here.

A Brighter Future

There are a hundred Tomorrows in SL, and most of them are pretty damn dark.  Nuclear war, demonic infestation, dehumanization through technology, every disaster, real and imagined, is visited on us somewhere here. We are a masochistic lot, we humans.

I want Extropia to stand apart from these nightmares as a dream of a brighter future.  I'm not asking for a Utopia, a perfect world.  There's a reason that word means both "good place" and "no place".  Indeed, I would never want to live in a world without struggle.  It would be as much a hell for me as the worst wasteland in SL.  What I want is a place where people are facing the changes our technology and society is bringing.  Facing them head on, struggling with them on every moral and intellectual front, and coming out the other end wiser and stronger.  A place where our technology makes us better, empowers us, instead of subjugating us or damning us.

I also, and this part is completely self-serving, want a place with a rich and nuanced mythology behind it.  I want a place that feels as real as Caledon or Suffugium or Saijo City.  A place where I can weave some dreams together with my friends.

And I think all this is imminently feasible.  If we gather to us the most creative and forward-thinking souls in SL, we can do it.  At least half of our current Citizen base has some creative presence here in SL, and I expect those numbers to grow.

A Collective Endeavour

In my vision, being a Citizen of Extropia is as much a job as being a Director.  If you want changes in the community you have to get out and talk to your fellow Citizens first, taking things to the directors only as a last resort.  You can't hide on your parcel, you have to talk to the neighbors.  If you want events to happen, you need to get with your friends and make them happen.  The Directors may help you along, and we'll always have events going, but a lot of it is up to you.  Fortunately, we have no dearth of self-starters in our community, and I expect you'll see many more such people appear as we expand.

My hope is that the "government" of Extropia remains small and unobtrusive as to be barely recognizable as a government at all.  I'd like us to fill the roles of janitor, security guard, cruise ship director, and ombudsman, and little more.  Provided we continue to build a Citizen base that puts trust and communication before rules and regulations I don't see why we can't do this. We will need to structure things as we scale up in size, but in the end it comes down to citizens talking to each other, and talking to the Directors about how they want the SIM run, and the Directors using that information to make decisions on running the SIM that don't send our population away in a panic.  We will have to hammer out the details, and soon, but if I ever feel like Extropia has become an experiment in government for it's own sake rather than for protecting the basic principles of it's foundation, I'll move on to greener pastures.

A Vision of my Future

Of course, I hope all the things above come true, but I'm sure I'll have to bend a bit here and there, as we all will.  My own personal plans for the future are pretty simple.  Serve Extropia until it seems to be running smoothly, then step down and go back full time to spinning out the dreams I choose to dream.  I'll write stories, build spaceships and other oddities, maybe even make some machinima.  And you can bet I'll be spending a lot of time with my family.  If we ever have elected offices here, and I'm not giving my opinion on that one way or another, I may run for one if I see something I want changed.  Otherwise I'll be living right next door to the rest of you in the beautiful world we will have built together.

Hello, neighbor.  Care to join me?

(Continued from here)

I'm breaking up the days into shorter installments now, although I should probably be editing down the content.  It's just that we see so much each day.  We must breeze past ten times as much stuff as we stop to see.  Anyway, sorry to have kept you waiting and here is the first part of Day 6.

My name is Argent Bury.  I was born on the Moon, fought a war on Earth, and live in a Digital world.  I thought I had seen everything, until Day 6 of the hike came around...

I was on top of Dragon Mountain after a grueling climb, standing face to face with my friend Natsumi.  Only it wasn't the Natsumi I knew.  My erstwhile traveling companion had been replaced with a...well...a furry?

I've been beating my head against the wall, literally, for the last few days trying various parts of texturing the inside of my house.  Today I may have hit upon part of the solution, but I find I have few brains left after the experience.  Certainly not enough for a coherent post.

Instead I'd like to point you towards a great blog I ran across today that was balm to to my frazzled soul.  Zippora Zabelin's wonderful blog, where she has an insightful article on SLove (or if not insightful at least one that many of us can identify with in one way or another), and one on her relationship with her human that nearly moved me to tears.

One to watch ^_^  Now...back to my house to finish this damn floor!