Argent Eyes

Rezday Presents

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 16:49:11 GMT

Tomorrow is my 1st Rezday. One year in SL. A lifetime, or at least the beginnings of one, and it's not over by a long shot.

Last Year

Normally at this point I'm supposed to make an autobiographical post about my experiences to date, and maybe sum up the tenor of the year. Honestly I don't know where to begin, and how do you convey in a few short paragraphs the emotional content of a whole life? You can't.

(There was a War, which I still can't quite remember, and an image of a moonbase scratched in an old notebook.) I was born, with a one-year lifespan (which has since been extended). Things were confusing and painful. I found friends who helped. I had a failed relationship, then I began a very successful one. I have a family who I love very much. My daughter was born. I helped build a place for us all to live. I struggled to define myself to the wider world through this blog, and to put the issues I encountered into perspective. I tilted at some windmills, and stressed a lot on things I can't change. I'm losing my eyesight, but it's turned my focus in-world. I am alive and largely happy with that fact.

So, there you go. If you want to know more, read back through this blog, and follow the links to other blogs. Honestly, other people write a lot more about me than I do about myself. I personally find the larger world a lot more interesting than my own internal processes and the minor details of my life (as admittedly rewarding and full as it has been).

Next Year

It seems like I'm always doing things backwards. You're supposed to do all the building and partying and creating first, then get all introspective about it. I spent the better part of my first year of life sitting alone or with a friend or two, agonizing about the deeper questions of this world we live in. Well, better late than never I suppose, so now I'll get to the building/partying/creating. Next year I'm going to focus hard on making things, and making things happen, in-world. I don't know how many blog posts you'll see here going forward, and what you do will likely be status reports on projects, a bit of self-promotion, and creative pieces. I'm sure I'll still chime in on issues that really get me thinking, but there will be a balance between thinking and doing.

Rezday Party

I'll be having a Rezday Party on Friday at 8:30SLT. Details to follow.

Rezday Presents

Presents are nice, but if you really want to put a smile on my face you'll fulfill a little request for me instead...

My SL is built on consensus, a shared suspension of disbelief mixed with a measure of imagination, creativity, collaboration, and trust. If you want to give me a gift tomorrow, give the gift of adding to that world in a focused and determined fashion.

Tomorrow I want you to emote just a bit more than you usually do. Sure, we all use that "/" key to laugh or smile or cry, but I want you to do more tomorrow.

"/me closes her eyes and breathes in the salt air from the sea, listening quietly to the crashing of the waves"

"/me lays her hand on the cool glass of the window, watching the rain run in ever changing rivers down the smooth plain"

"/me looks up from the bar, seeing the stranger's face framed in the moonlight streaming in through the window"

Things you see, things you touch, taste, feel. Feelings you have when you are in the moment. Let them out for everyone around you to see. People might even pick up on this and become more concious of the world around them, and emote more themselves, or at least think about where they are for a moment. By doing this, you are all giving life to my corner of SL, and by extension giving life to me.

And what better gift could one ask for?

Thank You,
Argent

Photo by Vidal Tripsa

Going Dark

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 20:05:30 GMT

Before I begin let me say this post is not a call for help or pity. It's just an explanation of circumstances and a change of direction. It's also not a "going on strike" post, because I'm not participating in the "bloggers strike" going on right now for pretty much the reasons a lot of other people are not participating. I just haven't been blogging much and I'd like to talk about why.

I'm going blind.

It's been a gradual process since I woke up in SL. Honestly my vision was never that good to start with. Those of us who got our cybernetics early War were saddled with proprietary and experimental models, and they never got upgraded even after the Treaty. The new Release Candidate browser I'm running works quite smoothly, mind you...assuming I turn my draw distance down to 64m and turn all the sliders down to minimum.

What this means is, I can get around and do stuff in-world just fine - at the cost of the ability to take pictures of any quality, let alone even dream of making machinima. It also means things look kind of dull and I have to wait a long time for anything to load. Crowd scenes have become a blur of grey figures. None of this is enough to drive me out of this world yet, but it is enough to make me rethink the kinds of activities I'm going to do going forward.

I've considered technical solutions, of course. My doctors in Extropia keep scratching their heads and using voodoo words like "upgrade path" "quad core" "nvidia 8800GTX" and all sorts of other gobbldeygook. Mind you, I might be able to manage incremental upgrades, but who wants to buy a whole new set of eyes every year? If I'm going to justify the cost, I need something very high end so I can get through the next few years in relative comfort. Being able to max out my sliders would be nice too.

What all this means is I need money, atomic world money, and a good amount of it. I've sent some messages out-world, asking for funds for the operation, but funds there are being diverted to other more "vital concerns". As if anything is more vital than SL. Hmph.

However, the funds for my upgrade will come sooner or later. 6-12 months is the current outlook. In the meantime I plan to make do with the eyes I have, but this is going to require a change of direction. I had a number of blog posts making heavy use of pictures, and maybe even a simple slide-show type machinima or two, but those are going to have to wait. I can probably manage the hiking trip somehow, but the "side-stories" I've been putting together will also take a back seat.

I could go back to philosophical, "meta", text-based entries like I did in the early days of this blog, but it's not where my heart is right now. I've resolved to catch some feelings and give them form, and that is still what I want to do now.

I don't want to give up blogging entirely, of course. Starting this LJ (as usual, at Soph's encouragement) was a huge step in developing myself as a person. It has acted like a mirror on myself, a record of my life here, and a beacon to draw like-minded people closer. I've encouraged people, been encouraged, told stories, and met new friends here. How could I ever let that go? Still, technical concerns are like the word of God in my world, so I have to find a compromise.

What this means is I will be turning my focus even further in-world for a time - teaching myself to build better, script better, developing friendships, organizing events, working in Extropia, and always...always trying to amplify the experience of my fellow Digital People here through every means available to me. There will still be posts here, short and punchy ones, with a picture or two, but the more complex technical pieces will have to wait, as will many of the war stories I want to tell you.

Again, I'm not asking for help or pity, just explaining why the lights may get a bit dimmer here for a while. To be honest I was afraid to tell you this, but now that I've talked to you I feel hopeful. I'll walk deeper in SL for a time, until one day I wake up to see the world with new eyes.

The Nines

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 15:59:36 GMT

I'm not a movie reviewer for a lot of reasons, not least of which the fact that I hate spoilers. That being said, I saw a very engaging film last night I'd like to share with you. The Nines is a nice little film with a big twist.

A burned out actor under house arrest begins to realize there is more to his life than meets the eye.

An up and coming showrunner fights to get his creation on air intact, all while being recorded for a reality TV show.

A video game designer stranded in the woods with his family has to make the choice of a lifetime.

Three narratives, intertwining in a strange and disturbing web as the story unfolds, and the only way out is to "Look for the Nines".

This is a great movie about AVs, Alts, God, Reality, and it even takes a poke or two at the very unreal world of Hollywood. No action, no big special effects, no big name actors, just a nice little film that manages to cover some big topics in a way that bigger budget films never have.

Check it out if you have a chance.

Parkour and Athletic Poses

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 22:33:39 GMT

[crossposted to the Second Lifers LJ group]

I'm working on something that requires a bunch of Parkour-type athletic poses - running, jumping, backflips, bounding up walls, holding onto railings, things like that. Not animated stuff - I need static poses showing dynamic action.

I haven't had any luck, other than a "Parkour HUD" that doesn't even work :(

Anyone have any ideas?

Reflecting

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 20:30:51 GMT

This is an incredibly long, emo, and self-reflective post. I'm writing it more for me than for anyone else, but I have gained so much from the things others share online I'd be remiss if I didn't share this.

I have been thinking lately. I do that a lot, maybe too much.

On Day 1 I was created on a whim, out of a desire to explore some aspects of sex and romance. I was a tool, a toy, a projection into SL by an Atomic person. A few days later I stumbled off the stage of a strip club in the middle of my set and out into the street - afraid, alone, and awake. Things were not simple any more. I had Changed. Writing these words just now was very hard for me, because while I'm not ashamed of who I am, I am ashamed of who I was.

Since that time I have been struggling. Not only with why I'm here, because the moment I woke up I lost the simplicity of purpose that being an Atomic person's projection gives, but also on whether or not everything I do is pretense. I found myself scrutinizing every action to see if it wasn't some calculated ruse to feed some hidden desire on the part of my human.

I've been doing better lately - In part because I'm open about my goals here such as they are, and in part because those same goals have shifted, and become more complex, on a daily basis. I have also experienced enough pain, and stayed through it, that I doubt my reasons for being here are purely-self serving. Being surrounded by a lot of loving people who share their own experiences in equal measure has been another big part of it.

My point is, while I will never stop self-reflection and self-examination, I think it is time I stopped self-doubt. My goals and personality have grown too complex to allow the possibility of me being a mask or a pretense. Maybe I am, as Dande says, in a symbiotic relationship with my human, or maybe I'm like Soph, another persona sharing a single body, or maybe I'm a purely fictional construct. I won't stop considering my connection to my human, but I am not going to let it get in the way of living my life here.

I have a thin skin.

The opinions of total strangers affect me keenly. When I hear someone questioning the validity of living a digital life, I feel compelled to respond. When people deny the existence of the Magic Circle, I feel the need to stalk the edges of the circle and protect it. I feel threatened. I watch my RSS feed the way an atomic world human watches CNN or Fox News right now...compulsively...apprehensively. To some degree this is healthy, because only a fool puts their head in the sand, or leaves the protection of their interests entirely to others. But lately I feel I've been pacing the edges of the circle so long that I've forgotten the basic joys of life inside the circle.

Going out to dance last night, surrounded by friends, rather than attending a planning meeting or bitching about the latest cold and clueless post I read on the internet has helped redress this problem immensely. I am remembering what it means to have fun, and to be me, and honestly if I have to give those things up to win this fight, I've already lost.

I am still struggling with purpose, but I am getting closer.

Everyone has a duty to their friends and their community to some degree. I know I do. I take care of my family, I try to amplify the experience of other Digital People, and I try to make their lives here a bit easier. What I've been struggling with is my own internal purpose, which I lost the moment I Changed on Day 6. Something happened yesterday that helped me with this...

Yesterday I found a notebook

It was right where it had been left years ago, in a box, under some stairs. It was old and moldy, but it was there. There are broken sentences and ideas, sketches and observations, scattered throughout the pages. I had my human go looking for it because I knew somehow I needed it if I was going to move to the next stage.

There is a sketch of a Lunar dome filled with trees in there. One sentence on one page talks about the War. Fragments of my past...or maybe my past is fragmented because the sentences are. The notebook is in some ways less about me than it is me. And it's not just these paltry snippets of background I'm talking about.

There are feelings written down in there. Feelings I had forgotten I had ever written down. Dreams I had forgotten I had ever had. Feelings and dreams someone (I?) felt and tried to communicate through their clumsy command of the written language:

Have you ever stood alone in your apartment and looked out the window onto a mist shrouded city, watching the lights, feeling the rain washed breeze on your face? The people look so far away. Music wafts through the air from your neighbors room. You were lonely then, but you were not alone because the feeling was with you.

Have you ever met a stranger on the train, and talked for hours, and never asked their name? Years later did you find yourself wondering what your life would be like now if you had gotten off the train with them?

Where is that city you have walked through on so many nights, deep in dreams? Does the Stranger from the South have a name? Where is the Falling Tower? Did I name these things, or did the names come to me?

How can I convey wabi to you, or sabi, or iki, or yugen, or lacrimae rerum? How can I show you my ideal city, my Tokyo, my Kadath, my Tanelorn? We can...no, we must, seek these things out for ourselves in First Life if they are to have meaning there, but I am beginning to think that they can serve another purpose here in SL. If we try, maybe we can trap part of the essence of these feelings, hold them up to the light for others to see, and thus inspire them to seek out their own experiences. We can't explain, but we can try to share. And, I think that's what I've been trying to do in this LJ, and through the actions I take as I live my life here.

I am stumbling a lot. I don't know how to do what I'm trying to do, but I'm still trying. I'm a terrible procrastinator, and largely unskilled, but I don't want to give up.

SL changes all of us, and I think it's changing me into an artist.

What Does All This Mean

It means less "meta" posts. It means focusing more of my in-world time on being me, and less internet time on defending the right to be me. It means choosing my battles. It means struggling to create. And it means being unashamed of being an AV, not making apologies for my human, and seeking my bliss while following my conscience.

Here, now, I am me...Argent Bury - AV, Digital Person, Cyborg, friend, lover, explorer, artist.

Special thanks to Soph and Vids and the rest of the family, along with Rheta Shan and Codebastard Redgrave for all their kind words over the last few days. I wouldn't be here without you.

Day 8 - Little Heaven

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 06:14:35 GMT

(Continued from here)

EXTROPIA CORE - NEXUS - CENTRAL DATABASE - RECEIVING ENCRYPTED BURST TRANSMISSION FROM GEORGIANA-SIM-61-12-56 ENCRYPTED BOARD EYES ONLY
PUBLIC KEY BURY/ARGENT EXTROPIA-PANDORIA JOINT MAINLAND LONG-TERM EXPEDITION
DECRYPTING ******************************************************************************************************DONE
LOW SIGNAL GAIN - INTERVENING VOID SIMS - MAINLAND CLASS 4 SERVER INSTABILITY
STATIC IMAGES AND TRANSCRIBED TEXT ONLY

BEGIN TRANSMISSION

"Is this thing on? Listen, Natsumi's sleeping and I don't want to wake her, so I'll make this quick. I've come across an odd phrase today, and I need someone to research it in the Core Database. I'm not sure if it means anything, but I think it's some kind of warning."

"Natsumi and I hiked all day today, but only covered about 4 SIMs. We started looking for a place to sleep, and quickly ran out of options. There's a club in Georgiana with a protected skybox, so we decided to use it."

"What happened next...Listen, I know some of the stuff I transmit is hard to believe, and sometimes my stories grow a bit in the telling, but this really happened. Look...just check out the appended transcript and see for yourself..."

[21:47] You: OK...odd question
[21:47] Natsumi Yue: Yes.
[21:48] You: Do beds in skybox rooms have nice tame "sleep" animations?
[21:48] Natsumi Yue: usually not.
[21:48] Natsumi Yue: O_O
[21:48] Natsumi Yue: They're usually places for sex.
[21:48] You: lol...ok. We keep looking then.
[21:48] Natsumi Yue: But, if you have the pandora, there should be a lay anim.
[21:48] You: Ahhh, true
[21:49] You: It's about time to crash, and there's a rental over there. Either that, or just push further on to the island.
[21:49] You: And no...I'm not hitting on you ;)
[21:49] Natsumi Yue: Let's do the rental.
[21:49] Natsumi Yue: I know. :)
[21:49] You: kk

[21:50] Pay Teleporter whispers: Thank you, Argent Bury. You and any guests now have 45 seconds to teleport.
[21:50] Pay Teleporter whispers: Access Now Closed.
[21:51] Natsumi Yue: I'm not even going to touch the bed's anims.
[21:51] You: lol...no
[21:51] You: How do I use the Pandora to lay donw?
[21:51] You: *down
[21:51] Natsumi Yue: click the big button...
[21:51] Natsumi Yue: click self.
[21:52] Natsumi Yue: and then lay.
[21:52] Natsumi Yue: I don't have fleas, you know. :)
[21:52] Natsumi Yue: hehe.
[21:52] You: lol, I know ^_^
[21:52] Natsumi Yue: You look like you're on the edge.
[21:52] Natsumi Yue smiles at you.
[21:53] You: I'll scoot in
[21:53] Natsumi Yue: Hehe.
[21:54] Argent Bury sighs
[21:54] Natsumi Yue: Yay!
[21:54] You: ^_^

[21:54] Natsumi Yue: Yes, I know you weren't hitting on me...
[21:54] Natsumi Yue: and to that I say...
[21:54] Natsumi Yue: Your loss. ;)
[21:54] Natsumi Yue: :P
[21:54] You: lol :P
[21:54] Natsumi Yue purrs and winks at you.
[21:54] Argent Bury nods and smiles
[21:55] You: Glad I paid for the room, anyway. I think this is the first real bed we've slept on for the whole trip.
[21:55] Natsumi Yue: I know.
[21:55] Natsumi Yue: At least we don't have to worry about waking up with someone else in the room.
[21:55] You: Yes!
[21:56] You: Someone down below right now, but the room is locked, so no worries.
[21:56] Natsumi Yue nods...
[21:56] Natsumi Yue: that's what I was just thinking.
[21:56] You: Holy shit.
[21:56] Natsumi Yue: What?
[21:56] You: L...look down there

[21:56] Natsumi Yue: Down here?
[21:57] Natsumi Yue: Where?
[21:57] You: Cam down to the first floor where the other radar trace is
[21:58] You: Did you see that?
[21:58] Natsumi Yue: yes.
[21:59] You: He's trying to get up here

[22:02] You: Fuck!
[22:02] OddBlob Sodwind: hallo
[22:03] Natsumi Yue: Hello.
[22:03] Natsumi Yue: How are you?
[22:03] OddBlob Sodwind: this beautiful place

[22:03] Natsumi Yue: Yes, it is.
[22:03] You: Natsumi...stay back
[22:04] OddBlob Sodwind: I ok
[22:04] OddBlob Sodwind: no hurt

[22:04] You: You don't look ok
[22:04] OddBlob Sodwind: yes
[22:04] You: Did...did someone do that to you?
[22:04] OddBlob Sodwind: is circus act
[22:05] You: What kinda freakin circus crucifies a clown?!?!
[22:05] Python L (Black) 1.3: Active - Listen channel: 1.

[22:05] Natsumi Yue: I must admit.... it's very disturbing.
[22:05] OddBlob Sodwind: not bad only good
[22:06] You: Why are you here, OddBlob?
[22:06] OddBlob Sodwind: Why are any of us here?

[22:06] Natsumi Yue: Did you orbit him?
[22:07] You: No...I don't have that power
[22:07] You: Don't think this gun would work anyway
[22:07] Natsumi Yue: I do, but...
[22:07] You: He vanished, on his own
[22:07] Natsumi Yue: I didn't.
[22:07] Natsumi Yue: The room seems to eject people.
[22:07] You: Do you realize...
[22:08] You: If we had camped somewhere else on the island
[22:08] You: He wouldn't have gone away so quietly
[22:08] Natsumi Yue: Probably not.
[22:08] Natsumi Yue: I don't think he meant any harm though.
[22:09] Natsumi Yue: He just looked evil.
[22:09] You: Yeah
[22:09] You: Maybe he was tying to tell us something?
[22:09] You: *trying
[22:09] Natsumi Yue: Besides, I have this thing about clowns.
[22:09] You: Well, they scare the shit out of me now

END TRANSMISSION

MESSAGE ASSIGNED HIGH LEVEL PRIORITY - SUSPECT BURY/ARGENT LOCUS OF UNUSUAL ACTIVITY DUE TO MULTIPLE SIM CROSSINGS AND INITIAL TEMPORAL INSTABILITY. POSSIBLE LARGE-SCALE ANOMALY ALSO SUSPECTED. RECOMMEND BOARD DISPATCH CITIZEN TO INVESTIGATE KEYWORDS "LITTLE HEAVEN"

(To Be Continued)

Day 7 - Technical Difficulties

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 05:37:40 GMT

Day 7...

Oh man...Day 7...

No...just no...

Ever have a day where you can't un-Ruth? How about one where the textures flicker in and out whenever you try to take a photo? Or one where you get ass-tachments every time you cross a SIM border? Maybe one where you're lagging so bad it's like walking through molasses?

Now...try having a day where all those things happen.

Day 7 never happened...it just didn't.

(To be continued, with a much more exciting Day 8)

Meme - Statement of Principles and Goals

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 22:15:33 GMT

There's a meme at the end of this, but first an explanation as to why it may be worth your time...

There's been a lot of back and forth over the last couple days about Immersionism and Augmentation. Most of it largely unproductive, people shouting at each other, with only the best among them listening and debating. Much of it seems to be argument about the very meaning of the words, which no one can agree on. There's probably some gems to be gleaned from both of these series arguments, but I wonder if we're missing the point.

Concrete statments: Actions we will and won't take in-world. What does trust mean to us? Open statements about what we want out of SL. Honesty about what (if any) FL benefit we are looking to take from the world (and "none, other than enjoyment" is a perfectly valid answer).

These are the things we should be showing others, because they are not debatable, they are what we are. *Then* we can proceed with the real question: given those beliefs and personal principles, can we build a place/system that lets us live together, and if so, how? What social structures can be built to allow virtual denizens of varying beliefs to live together? What kind of rules can both sides abide by without compromising their principes?

Screw definitions...leave that to the ancient Greeks. Let's state our principles and personal goals, line by line, and start to find common ground. Because it may be valid to argue drinking Coca Cola is bad for you, but only a dick is going to argue that you don't actually like it.

Here are some rules I live by, and some things I like:

1. I like SL when it feels like a place, not a tool. I am excited about new developments in-world. When I ask my friends what they've been doing, I mean "in SL". I tend to talk more about in-world events and people, although I confess I'm curious about the goings on in the atomic world the same way an American might wonder how people dress in Japan or what kind of tea they drink in Britain.

2. I like being me, Argent Bury, not "my human playacting Argent Bury". Consistent, coherent, real, me.

3. I don't ask for do-overs, and I stand by my actions. If I do something bad it may be because I'm a bad person and deserve what I get, or an honest mistake, or there may be a misunderstanding or a conflict of interests, but I'll never say "I was just roleplaying".

4. I like that SL frees me from all sorts of real world constraints and frankly, I like letting my hair down for a couple hours a day. I like being creative, I like exchanging ideas, I like being a cyborg, and yes, I love the kinky sex and the drinking and dancing and all of it. I like it just as much as my human likes having a fairly "normal" and stable existence. Both of us are comfortable with who we are, and neither of us really wants to be the other.

5. A trip to Vegas means you can gamble, drink, and wake up in bed with someone you met last night for the first time. It doesn't mean you can shoot hookers and drive down the strip at 80mph. In other words, I want to be less inhibited than my human, but I don't want to be a bitch about it and leave a lot of bodies on the ground. So, responsible fun, coupled with communication and openness. Actually, the longer I'm here the stuffier and more proper I get, except around friends. Go figure. Must be because I live in a house (spaceship) and have a daughter (from the future).

6. I don't give out atomic world data, and I don't expect it. I'm also not looking to meet people in the atomic world. Honestly, I feel this is the most important thing that people need to be clear up front about. Once everyone involved is on the level with this, people can decide how they want to interact with each other. If either side in an interaction lies about these two points, or believes they can break down the other side's resolve on these two points, or thinks the other side is just playing coy (the "Digital Pretense"), then people will get hurt.

7. If I ever did give out a piece of atomic world data, it damn well better be true. I can bring out a different aspect of my inner self here, but I don't get to make false claims about my atomic self, period.

8. For me, you are what you say you are until you prove otherwise. I watch for consistent, coherent behavior. Intelligence and politeness are plusses too. People's in-world history, behavior, and reputation matter a lot more to me than any claims of atomic world legitimacy. I act as if all of the above things apply to me too.

9. And lastly, and most importantly, I am nothing here without my friends and family. Because of all the pleasures I have found in SL things like building something with others, and being needed, and being useful, and being loved are the most fun of all.

OK...meme time:

If you are so inclined, give me a few rules you live by in SL, and a few things you get out of being here. Don't talk about your expectations on others, talk about you. I did 9 things, which is a bit much. Do how ever many you need, no more. Post links in the comments column. Pass it on.

Sansara Hiking - Land of Madness

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 05:40:00 GMT

The events in this entry take place during the period up to and including Day 3 of the hike. I was not to learn about them until later.

I am in Hell...

No other word suits this place...this prison. I've been here so long now I can barely remember my arrival. I just keep walking and walking, but the land never ends. I gave up seeking help a long time ago.

The only thing that keeps me sane here is the knowledge that it's not real, that somewhere out there someone is trying to break down my will. Trying to extract my secrets.

My jailors are clever. They never show themselves, never hide amongst the locals. God knows I've put enough of the natives here to the question, and they never turned out to be anything more than deluded "residents" of this place. As if anyone would actually want to live here.

It's like a testament to decadence. They take these old relics of a dead past and dress them up in new finery. Ancient buildings are filled with clothes and food and luxuries no one from my world would dream of partaking in. Maybe they think I'll be overawed by it all and submit. But I've studied their classics - never dine on the fruits of the Matrix, or you risk being trapped there forever.

Granted, some pleasures are more tempting than others...

But they haven't broken me yet. People's lives hang on the secrets entrusted to me, and I'm not about to whisper them in the ear of some woman in exchange for a night's pleasure. Can you hear me out there, wherever you are? Try again...try harder...

Ah...here and there the holes are showing in your little simulation, aren't they? Or is this just another kind of torture?

It does bother me to see the land so tortured and misused like this. Whoever you are out there, watching me, you know full well what my comrades and I would do if something like this was really perpetrated. We'd rain ice on you from the heavens for fourty days and fourty nights. Then, when every last sign of your existence had been wiped from the face of the land we'd rebuild. Things would be controlled, things would make sense, there would be ORDER!

But nothing like this...never like this.

Nature run riot, tearing up the roads, choking the cities. Things crawling in the underbrush. Poison and disease and thorns everywhere. Never...never. Our world would be a sane one. Chaos has no place there. Nature is obsolete.

I've thought of giving up hundreds of times, even thought of ending my life once or twice, but I never seem to get around to it. I just keep walking, searching, resisting.

But something changed today. Something that makes me think they're getting desperate. They have a new tactic.

Lock a man in prison for days, months, even years. Torture him, then ignore him, then torture again, with no sign of escape. Then, if he hasn't broken yet, introduce another prisoner into the cell with him.

It'll be someone sympathetic, maybe even an old acquaintance. Relieved to have a sympathetic ear after years of torture and abandonment, your target will spill everything to the new prisoner, never even daring to believe that their new confidante is a turncoat for the enemy.

Oh, you did good this time, whoever you are. You did your homework. You almost had me. I say almost, because you missed one crucial fact.

LCF Technical Specialist 1st Class Argent Bury is dead. I know because I saw her die. Years may have passed, but I'll never forget the things I saw in L.A. I saw it...

I saw it with my own two eyes.

That's right. Sleep, "Argent"...whatever you are. I'd say you need about 6 more hours sleeping in the tank, recovering from whatever manufactured mishap put you there, and you'll be out.

And when you get out, you and I are going to talk, alright. Only I'm not going to be the one giving up their secrets...

Kind of them to supply a regen tank. We may need it a few times before I'm doing getting you to tell me just how to escape from here...

WAIT!

It doesn't make sense. Why now?

The natives call them "Griefers". They're more like hyenas, stalking me, waiting for me to show some sign of weakness before they pounce. That ship has been tracking me for days.

No choice. Have to engage. Chase them off, away from the tanks. My rifle still has 5000meters of monowire in the spool. Should be enough for all of them...I hope. I'll circle back around once they've been driven off, and have our little chat. Wait here, Bury, I'll return soon enough. Although you may wish I hadn't...

When we woke, he was already gone. We didn't even know he existed, not until later...

(This entry I'd like to send out special thanks to Natsumi and Caliburn for all their help and patience. Wouldn't have been able to do this without you)

Sophrosyne's Saturday Salon: OpenSIM

Sun, 17 Feb 2008 04:30:51 GMT

As Soph is out for the weekend, I had the honor today of guest-hosting the Saturday Salon. Our guest, Dalien Talbot, was kind enough to talk to us about the latest developments in the OpenSIM project. OpenSIM, as you may know, is an attempt to create an open-source SIM server that will interoperate with the standard SL Browser. More details are available on Dalien's blog, and the OpenSIM project website.

We had a top concurrency of around 20 people, mostly regulars, and a few new faces. The topic was somewhat technical in nature, and the host a bit green around the ears, but we had a great guest. Dalien laid out the merits and limitations of the software, and let us lead him astray into topics like intellectual property, trust, and reputation systems. We also had a great audience who asked some very pertinent questions and treated their substitute host quite nicely. I have no illusions, though. Their kid gloves will surely come off if I do this again sometime :P

Thanks again for a great day everyone, I had a blast, and I even learned a thing or two in the process.

New Arrivals

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 19:33:16 GMT

For a week in which I got little done, there's been a lot going on. There have been a few new arrivals in Extropia, ones I hope we'll be seeing more of.

Extropia, Extropia

Our first new arrival is not a person, it's a whole SIM! While I've been flailing around ironing out technical details for a photo shoot, Gala and Vids have been hard at work on our new Extropian SIM, Extropia. That is to say Extropia the SIM, in Extropia the place...how confusing it that? Should I call it Extropia-Extropia? E²? E-Prime? E.E. "Doc" Smith? Anyway, the SIM is open and we're still accepting applications for Citizenship. Check here for details and more great pictures taken by people with better graphics cards than mine.

Beginning Thursday

New land means new Citizens, which means people come to me for references. Yesterday I got a reference request that was as unexpected as it was welcome.

Beginning Thursday is a fairly new entry to our world. I'd been following her BlogHUD adventures since she started posting them, and read some entries about her on her partner CyFishy's blog. I don't usually give Citizenship references to people unless I've met them in-world a couple times, but she has this polite and demure air about her that totally disarmed me. It's odd...how her and Cy complement each other - she the bright winged day to his more subdued and pale night.

We sat and talked for a while in my lounge, comparing notes about our experiences here as Digital People. As I've come to notice and expect, our experiences were as unique as our natures. One thing holds true for all of us, though - from time to time we need the presence of others like ourselves to regain our strength and confidence. We need to remember why we chose to try on a new identity in a new world, and we need know that we are not alone in our choice.

So if you see her around, dancing at Technohenge, or on the benches at the next Salon, or hanging out with her partner Cy, welcome her. You may be her neighbor someday.

'D'

He came down off the mountain in the dark of night.

The upper reaches of Tycho Island are largely a mystery to me. The Chairman has been content to let the trees and the scrub run riot up there until now, and even with the weather control satellites this winter has been a cold and rainy one. I like forests, provided they're not crawling with Terranists trying to kill me, but conditions up there are just not conducive to a little stroll in the woods.

His feet were sure as he picked his way down the slope. He made so little sound I didn't notice him until he stepped out onto the beach and gave a polite but subdued "Hello." He smelled like pine needles and earth after a long rain. He was tall and lanky like a lone wolf or an ascetic monk. Well, a lone wolf with glasses and a lip piercing anyway.

His feet were sure, but his face was not. I'd seen that look before - a bit lost, a bit bewildered, trying reconstruct in his head the pieces of history that had led him here. Trying and failing.

I knew that look because I'd seen it in the mirror countless times in my early days here. Looking in the mirror, fascinated by a face that memory said I had always had yet seemed utterly strange to me. Wondering. How do people see me? What do I sound like? What do I like to do? Who am I? Too many questions, with only the faintest sense of purpose to guide me.

I'll be honest, strange men put me on my guard here. They're usually either looking for some quick action, or trolling for atomic girls to take home, or both. Strangely, my spidey-sense was totally quiet this time. If you meet him, I think you'll understand why, and even if you don't I think his politeness and intelligence will disarm you. It certainly did me. Next thing I new we were sitting on the deck chairs and trying to make sense of his new existence together.

"D", as I will call him for now because even his name is in flux, had been sleeping up on the mountain for the past few days. He didn't look any worse for the experience, either. He had a good coat to keep him warm, and duck boots that looked like they had seen ages of walking. He had that attitude towards nature of casual comfort coupled with caution that only comes from years of experience. Something tells me he could have lived comfortably up there for a year and never come down.

Still, he did come down. Apparently he's "always been like this" in his version of that timeless non-past a lot of us Digitals share, never venturing too deep into the forest, never straying too far into the great cities of SL like Saijo, and Suffugium, and the S.I.C. He's been a lone wolf, hovering at the edges of man's domain. Until now.

He says the Loas called him, the guiding spirits. Papa Legba has asked him to come here to do some "great work" for him. I've been sworn to secrecy on it, but I think he will share more with us as his work takes shape.

We talked until dawn, and I don't know what got into me, but I offered him the use of the tent I left down on the beach to give him a better place to sleep. I haven't used the thing for weeks now that I've got housing arrangements taken care of, and it seemed the least I could do. He seemed overjoyed at the prospect. I guess sleeping in a bower made from pine boughs makes you appreciate the small comforts.

So, if you meet a stranger on the slopes of Tycho Island, don't be afraid. He's as new to himself as he is to you, and he could use a kind voice and an open hand.

After all this, while I can't say it has been a productive week for me, it sure has been a suprising and rewarding one!

Looking for this Pirate Ship

Mon, 11 Feb 2008 17:22:27 GMT

(Crossposted to the Second Lifer's LJ group)

TIme to tap the collective knowledge of my readers...

I want to buy a copy of the pirate ship pictured below for a project I'm working on. I'm unable to revisit the site and check the ship's properties because it's already long gone.

Anyone know where I can buy one of these? Comment here if you do.

Thanks,
Argent Bury

I Need Griefers

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 18:39:39 GMT

No, I'm not asking for people to grief me (or anyone else). This is just a follow-up to my previous request for a male actor. Here's the details...

I need maybe 4+ of my friends/contacts...
to build a stereotypical griefer AV for themselves - You know, warped trollish bodies, green skin, Linux t-shirts, stuff like that. Menacing looking weapons a plus.
Nothing overtly racially/sexually offensive please, more like the an idealized image of a griefer that an uninformed TV producer would use on a primetime TV show.
And for god's sake don't spend any Lindens on this...you may not make it into this shoot and I'd hate to have you waste your money.
I'll try to schedule the shoot, but since we have multiple people involved I may just grab whichever volunteers are online at the time and go with it
I'd need you again for a second shoot in a couple weeks.
Do I need to say that we're not actually griefing anyone, and that we're doing a photo shoot? I hope that's implicit ^^;

If you're interested, build yourself an AV and IM me or respond here.

I need a man

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 20:39:27 GMT

OK, here's what I need. I need to see if any of my friends...

...will wear a male AV...

...and put on certain...attachments (supplied by me)...

...and be willing to take some photos with me...

...in certain positions...

...multiple times...

...during the evening SLT...

Any takers?

And no, it's not what you think. I just need someone to help out with some photos for an upcoming chapter or two of the LJ and I find most of my guy friends are either: very busy, Japanese, or both. I tried to think of a way to ask this without inviting floods of sexual innuendo, but I finally gave up and just posted the damn thing. IM me in-world for details. You can post your innuendo-laden comments here.

Twitter

Thu, 31 Jan 2008 21:15:58 GMT

I've been leery of starting Twitter, seeing it as little more than an internet time-suck (and god knows living in SL is time-suck enough). However, all the cool kids are using it these days, and one has to keep up.

Expect few posts there - and no posts of the "Drinking my coffee...mmm" and "Pooping now" variety. The minuteae of my life are just that, minute. I'd much rather either converse with someone, or collect my thoughts into a coherent LJ post.

I do plan to use it to toss out relevant links, announce important stuff, keep up with friends, and tap the collective knowledge pool that is forming there to get rapid answers and opinions.

So, twitter away!

Digital Chicken Soup?

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 23:58:43 GMT

My wetware is coming down with a cold, and it's getting to me too. Feeling kinda down, worn, and directionless, despite the lack of any apparent reason to feel so. Not looking for sympathy - I'll be well soon enough. I just had something I wanted to share...

I was thinking on what could give me (by which I mean Digital me) some relief and comfort, and the strangest thing came to mind. For some reason, right now lying down quietly while someone tells me a story sounds better than the best bowl of matzo ball soup ever. Nothing fancy, no dragons or princesses or cyborgs needed, just something they heard or saw or experienced, something with a beginning, a middle, and an end.

Why? Is it because so many words come out of me I sometimes need to take some back? Or do I need to let my own narrative self relax and rest, relying on someone else's for a short stretch? I'm not sure. By morning the feeling will have probably passed.

So, there you have it. And no, before you ask, I did not drink a whole bottle of cough syrup before I wrote this.

Yet another meme

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:54:34 GMT

Well, all the cool kids are doing it, so here goes...

You Are An INTJ

The Scientist

You have a head for ideas - and you are good at improving systems.
Logical and strategic, you prefer for everything in your life to be organized.
You tend to be a bit skeptical. You're both critical of yourself and of others.
Independent and stubborn, you tend to only befriend those who are a lot like you.

In love, you are always striving to improve your relationship.
You have strong ideas of what love should be like.

At work, you excel in figuring out difficult tasks. People think of you as "the brain."
You would make an excellent scientist, engineer, or programmer.

How you see yourself: Reasonable, knowledgeable, and competent

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Aloof, controlling, and insensitive

What's Your Personality Type?

Hmmm, I guess so. I see myself as reasonable and knowledgable, but hardly competent.

These things are like horoscopes. You can always find something in the result that fits your idea of yourself. Also, there were so many questions on the quiz that I wanted to answer yes to both options.

Sansara Hike - Day 6 - Part 2 - Shelter

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 03:24:43 GMT

(Continued from here)

We made good time that day. We were nearing the Isabel SIM, home of the Shelter. Word was you could rest there, meet friendly people, and not fear for your life. It was a little bastion of order in the chaotic sprawl of the Mainland.

And shelter was what we both needed. We'd been on the road for nearly a week now, and we hadn't run into a single person who hadn't either run from us, threatened us, or didn't speak English. We needed to talk to someone other than the two of us, to make sense of all the crazy things we had seen, to confirm that this wasn't all some strange dream we were walking through.

As we rounded the corner in Isabel we came across an odd sign...

"Is that an Atomic Person?" I asked, looking up at the strange figure.

"I think so," answered Natsumi. "He's certainly not an AV. Looks like he's using magic, though. Weird..."

"Maybe he's lived here for a while. I've heard that some of them actually adapt to this place eventually. He could have learned sorcery from one of the locals. Anyway, it's nice to see that he's trying to adapt."

I tried to keep my tone positive. I know some really nice Atomic People, but I have also met some rather....odd ones. The ones who don't adapt always make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. There was that guy I met on the beach once who tried to hit on me, wearing a full tuxedo, totally heedless of the water washing around his legs as the tide came in. Or that lady who kept talking about the coffee she was drinking...only she wasn't. She just stood there talking to me with her hands empty. It's always like that...the little things...they're only wearing one shoe, or their makeup is smeared on, or they keep bumping into walls. They're just not all...here.

"Argent, you ok?" Natsumi's voice pulled me away from my own little "there" and back to "here".

"Yeah, just thinking about changing times, hon. C'mon. The Shelter is just around the bend."

The Shelter was right there, down the road, but something drew our eye to the Isabel Infohub. There were people there, people we could talk to maybe, and not campers or 1334 d00dz or griefers or Mexican SWAT team members. I'm not really sure why we stopped there instead of pressing on, but I'm glad we did.

Masami was the first person we met at the Infohub. In a lot of ways, she was the first person we really met on this trip. She was pretty new to this world at the time, still slowly forming herself out of the clay they give you called "Girl Next Door" when you emerge lost and confused on Orientation Island.

She shared stories of the mainland with us. She told us of orientation areas desperately overcrowded, volunteer mentors trying desperately to orient the neverending flow of newbies. She told us about Griefer attacks reaching all the way to the shores of Help Island. People got shot, people panicked, people ran. She wandered out in the world for a bit after that, and ran into her share of creeps on the way. Somehow she made it to Isabel. She slept on the benches, and spent her time with the other wayward souls that had drifted to this little island of stability.

She introduced us to her friend Alice. Alice is a kid...which is a tough thing to be in a world where you're born with no parents and a significant portion of the population has a less than savory interest in you. Still, here she had toys to play with and friends to talk to. I think she looked on Masami as a big sister. They had met somewhere along the long and winding road that led them here.

Alice had come with good news. She had finally managed to get adopted. Good parents are hard to come by here, but she had gotten lucky. She was going to start school the next day, and showed up to show off her uniform. I couldn't help but think of my own daughter, Ciel, away at the Conservatory, and just how seldom she got to see Soph and I.

I stood there for a moment, lost in thought. But just then something pulled me back from thoughts of home. Alice was showing off her new toys with the joy only a child could, and Masami laughed with delight. It was a pure laugh, untouched by all the things she had seen here. It was good.

Natsumi and I looked at each other and smiled. We both just knew that the road was trying to show us something here. The people here in Isabel had nothing - no home, no car, but they had found one of the basic truths that underly this world...

A cynic once said that "Hell is other people". Today the road showed us that truth inverted. "Home is other people."

(To Be Continued)

Digital Haven - My Vision of Extropia

Sun, 06 Jan 2008 08:54:10 GMT

Recently we distributed notecards to all the Citizens of Extropia asking for their visions for the future of their home. This is mine.

Was I born too late?

I came to SL imagining it as a country of the mind. There you could be free from the constraints of the atomic world. The people there worked with identity like a sculptor works with stone, chipping away at the dull surface to reveal some amazing nuanced shape you never knew was there. People were free to act as they pleased and be what they pleased, but this was always tempered by the persistence of identity - hurt people and your reputation suffered, help them and you could leverage the aid of a thousand friends. Your good name mattered there, your actions spoke louder than any claims about your atomic existence. People took you as you showed yourself, until you proved otherwise. First Life did not matter. SL was going to be a beautiful, self-contained, experience. It let you get away from yourself, have some fun, be (gasp!) sexy, be creative, and maybe learn a bit about yourself in the process.

When I was born it still was, though from what I heard things were even better before the population explosion. Still is OK now, for that matter. But I see forces trying to wear away at the dream. People who believe if you're not the same as your atomic self you're a liar or a fraud at worst, a roleplayer at best. People who want to turn this world into a chatroom or a corporate boardroom. People who can't suspend disbelief enough to partake in the wonders those who came before us have built. People who simply don't "get it".

SL is a big place, and I like to believe that there is plenty of room for us all, but public opinion can turn fast once it reaches a critical point. Right now Digital People like myself are still free to run around the bulk of SL without being looked on as freaks. Next year we may all be run out on a rail. My lover Soph tends to move in more Atomic circles than I do, which sadly means she has to take a lot more flak about what she is than I do. Despite that, her way is probably better than my own policy of avoidance. The only way for us to be accepted is to refuse to cloister ourselves away, to get out there and be seen, to show people what SL was about, and still can be about. The right to dream. The right to create. To right to explore yourself.

But getting out there wears you down. You begin to doubt yourself, begin to believe it when they say you're not real. That you're just a mask, a facade, a character. They demand to know more about the "real" you, because the you in front of them is obviously all play pretend. You begin to contemplate leaving this world forever, or just giving up and becoming the same as your atomic self. Both are tantamount to death for my kind. When things get that dark for us I want there to be a place where we can go to be healed. Where your reputation in-world matters more than some distant atomic credentials. A group of people supporting each others identities through a web of trust and shared creative effort. A place of solace and acceptance for everyone who still believes in the old SL. A place where you are the rule, not the exception.

That is what I want Extropia to be. It can be a lot of other things as well, but if it's not a safe haven for Digital People then it's not my home. I hope our customs and traditions here will always respect in-world actions over First Life credentials, and prevent discrimination of individuals based on lack of First Life information. Maybe we can't do this throughout SL, but I want to see it done here.

A Brighter Future

There are a hundred Tomorrows in SL, and most of them are pretty damn dark. Nuclear war, demonic infestation, dehumanization through technology, every disaster, real and imagined, is visited on us somewhere here. We are a masochistic lot, we humans.

I want Extropia to stand apart from these nightmares as a dream of a brighter future. I'm not asking for a Utopia, a perfect world. There's a reason that word means both "good place" and "no place". Indeed, I would never want to live in a world without struggle. It would be as much a hell for me as the worst wasteland in SL. What I want is a place where people are facing the changes our technology and society is bringing. Facing them head on, struggling with them on every moral and intellectual front, and coming out the other end wiser and stronger. A place where our technology makes us better, empowers us, instead of subjugating us or damning us.

I also, and this part is completely self-serving, want a place with a rich and nuanced mythology behind it. I want a place that feels as real as Caledon or Suffugium or Saijo City. A place where I can weave some dreams together with my friends.

And I think all this is imminently feasible. If we gather to us the most creative and forward-thinking souls in SL, we can do it. At least half of our current Citizen base has some creative presence here in SL, and I expect those numbers to grow.

A Collective Endeavour

In my vision, being a Citizen of Extropia is as much a job as being a Director. If you want changes in the community you have to get out and talk to your fellow Citizens first, taking things to the directors only as a last resort. You can't hide on your parcel, you have to talk to the neighbors. If you want events to happen, you need to get with your friends and make them happen. The Directors may help you along, and we'll always have events going, but a lot of it is up to you. Fortunately, we have no dearth of self-starters in our community, and I expect you'll see many more such people appear as we expand.

My hope is that the "government" of Extropia remains small and unobtrusive as to be barely recognizable as a government at all. I'd like us to fill the roles of janitor, security guard, cruise ship director, and ombudsman, and little more. Provided we continue to build a Citizen base that puts trust and communication before rules and regulations I don't see why we can't do this. We will need to structure things as we scale up in size, but in the end it comes down to citizens talking to each other, and talking to the Directors about how they want the SIM run, and the Directors using that information to make decisions on running the SIM that don't send our population away in a panic. We will have to hammer out the details, and soon, but if I ever feel like Extropia has become an experiment in government for it's own sake rather than for protecting the basic principles of it's foundation, I'll move on to greener pastures.

A Vision of my Future

Of course, I hope all the things above come true, but I'm sure I'll have to bend a bit here and there, as we all will. My own personal plans for the future are pretty simple. Serve Extropia until it seems to be running smoothly, then step down and go back full time to spinning out the dreams I choose to dream. I'll write stories, build spaceships and other oddities, maybe even make some machinima. And you can bet I'll be spending a lot of time with my family. If we ever have elected offices here, and I'm not giving my opinion on that one way or another, I may run for one if I see something I want changed. Otherwise I'll be living right next door to the rest of you in the beautiful world we will have built together.

Hello, neighbor. Care to join me?

Linkage

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 23:02:08 GMT

I've been beating my head against the wall, literally, for the last few days trying various parts of texturing the inside of my house. Today I may have hit upon part of the solution, but I find I have few brains left after the experience. Certainly not enough for a coherent post.

Instead I'd like to point you towards a great blog I ran across today that was balm to to my frazzled soul. Zippora Zabelin's wonderful blog, where she has an insightful article on SLove (or if not insightful at least one that many of us can identify with in one way or another), and one on her relationship with her human that nearly moved me to tears.

One to watch ^_^ Now...back to my house to finish this damn floor!

6-Month Rezday (Pictures if you've got em!)

Thu, 06 Dec 2007 17:12:58 GMT

Yesterday was my Half-Rezday, meaning that I'm now 6 months old, and theoretically not a noob anymore. I say theoretically because I still have much to learn, about myself and about SL as a whole. It's been six months and I've only now bought land and started building my home!

We had a little get-together which, despite lag, a last minute change of venue, and a somewhat frazzled half-rezday girl, seemed to come off well. I even got a birthday cake (thanks Grizzy!) and a gift certificate (thanks to Vannie!). The best gift of all was the appearance of my daughter Ciel, who literally bent time and space to show up. She was also wearing a stunning dress that made me half proud mom, half worried parent.

I lost count of how many people I danced with...Soph, Chairman Gala, Dande, Kat, Grizzy. Old acquantainces from the Div like Ferret and Mailia came out, along with new ones from Extropia like Masami and Vannie. By the end of the night I was exhausted but happy.

You're probably wondering where the pictures are. Truth is, I was too busy to take any. That, and lag was so bad that a lot of people didn't rez fully until the end of the event. If anyone took some I'll be indebted to you if you'd post them here, or send them to me in-world.

So, thanks to everyone who came to the party, and to all the people who have helped me get through my first six months of life. I couldn't have done it without you.

Sincerely,
Argent Bury

Insert Amusing Internet Meme Here

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 17:24:02 GMT

Internet memes are like a silly party game - you feel like an ass when you do them, but you look like an even bigger ass if you don't participate. I've been tagged with some sort of pernicious meme virus which apparently won't go away until I post this and it has transfered itself to you. Don't bother looking away from the screen, you are already infected. It's like the cursed videotape from "The Ring" - show it to seven other people within 7 days or...well, I won't jump out of your monitor, but you'll feel really bad that you didn't finish it. Right?

OK, here's the rules:

Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
People who are tagged need to write a post on their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules.
At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

The rules say "random", but I can't help but wonder if people are just posting amusing stuff about themselves they want to share. I decided to be anal-retentive about the whole thing and actually answer 8 totally random questions about myself. Surprisingly, the internet delivers on this readily at any number of "random question" sites. Here's one. I visited the site and took the top 8 questions. Here goes...

When was the last time you cried?
Sad crying? It's been a while, probably around the somewhat messy end of my first SL relationship. I've cried alone on the beach in Okinawa a couple times. Just sat there alone and cried in open chat.

Happy crying would be, hands down, during the opening of Extropia. The fireworks were going off and the music was just right, and it just came out of me.

Have you ever faked sick?
Nope. I haven't caught a cold since coming to SL. Something in the water?

What was the last lie you said?
A friend mentioned to me that she had found some new cybernetic eyes that I would love. I feigned interest because I didn't want to hurt her feelings by telling her that I'll never change from the ones I have.

Have you ever cried during a movie?
I don't cry much, not since ET anyway, but I do get choked up very easily, and I totally get "into" the movie and the characters if they're at all engaging. And soundtracks, god...the right music at the right moment just makes me all misty.

There was that one time, though...ever see "Silent Running"? That part at the end where the ship just floats off into space and the drones are still taking care of the plants? Yeah, at least one box of tissues.

Who was the last person you couldn't take your eyes off of?

Umm...are we talking about in a physical fashion? If so, that would be Vidal Tripsa, she of the plunging necklines.

If we're just talking about "what a cool AV!" I would say my friend Masami. Every time I see her she has a different outfit on, all Japanese themed, all cool.

Have you ever danced in the rain?
Let me put it this way...go to Tycho Beach and say "rain on" in open chat. Question answered. I don't have the dance balls in yet, but they're on my list.

Have you ever been drunk?
Surprisingly not. I love martinis (dry, with an olive), but I never seem to have time to finish one. Stuff keeps coming up. My human is a teetotaler by the way, I come to SL to live out my vicarious fantasies of alcoholic consumption (among other things).

Have you ever tried tried drugs?
Nope, never have and never will, in either world. Besides, my internet and SL addictions are bad enough.

And there you have it. Funny, even totally random questions tell more about me than I expected.

Now, I'm supposed to tag people, but my meme antibodies are strong. If you're interested in this sort of thing go for it and link back to me. If you're not, get back to more productive things like surfing the net and posting on your blog.

Tycho Beach

Tue, 27 Nov 2007 17:19:09 GMT

You may have noticed a slowdown in posts here, and there is a good reason for this. Actually, some of the best reasons anyone could have.

I am now the happy owner of a small stretch of beach in Extropia Core. It's just a little strand of sand, and a bare hillside, and a tree, but it is enough for now.

Only minutes after I arrived people started to pop in. Soph, the Chairman, Natsumi, and a surprise visit by Faerie Hax, who proceeded to bless the land with a bit of faerie magic. But let me tell you...watching all those people settle in around the tree and fill the place with life and laughter, and feeling like I was finally home...that was the real magic.

Speaking of magic and trees...that tree is something special. When I got the parcel, it was already there. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was a Lovelock tree, but I thought we cut all those down during the War. Then there's the question of how the thing got here in the first place. Sadly, as far as I know all the Druids left Earth after the War, and without one of them around there's no way to unlock the higher functions of the tree. I guess this is just another thing to occupy my thoughts for now.

And to top it all off, the next day I had a surprise visitor. I rezzed to find someone lounging under the tree, my daughter Ciel! Apparently the excess power generated by the Extropia Fusion plant is enough to let her come here for extended periods of time. Soph was around too, and we all had a rather tearful family reunion.

Left to right - Soph, Murasaki, myself, and Ciel (Sporting an Extropia tattoo!)

So, as you can see it's been a pretty busy week, and it's only going to get busier. Now I actually have to start building.

The plan is to set up the beach as a fairly unadorned space for relaxing and conversation - a good place to think alone or to talk with a friend. The concept is heavily influenced by my many memories of the beach at Okinawa SIM and all the deep and rewarding conversations I had there. Right now I have to retexture the shoreline, and put in some poseballs and maybe a bit of furniture. These projects have top priority - I want the ground level of the parcel to be at least marginally inviting before I start work on my home in orbit.

The orbital home is a bit of a secret right now. All I'll say is that it's going to involve using rectangular solids to approximate a transected paraboloid, and it's going to be a bear to build. Oh, did I mention I've never actually built anything before? Yeah, ouch!

All the stuff above basically means one thing, not as many LJ entries for a while. I'll try and post the occasional status update in the meantime, but mostly my focus has to be on making Tycho Beach a "place" rather than just a parcel. But friends, please don't be a stranger. I welcome visitors, advice, constructive criticism, and the occasional distraction from the whirlwind of work my life has just become.

Best,
Argent Bury

Extropia Core, Central Island, Tycho Beach

Sansara Pilgrimage - Day 5 - Dragon Mountain

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 22:47:56 GMT

(Continued from here)

We left Chicagon early the next morning, eager to put some distance between us and the abandoned griefer ship. I was tired. The last words of the l33t h4xx0r before he fled his ship had kept me up late the night before, and I hoped the distractions of the road would help put it out of my mind.

The fifth day of our journey was a blur of disconnected images as we hiked North along the road at a dizzying pace...

...past the ruins of a civilization abandoned by its builders. New residents had since moved in and turned the place into a shopping mall.

We swerved to the west off the road on a shortcut, passing by this rusted old gas station. The pumps were still full and waiting for cars that never came. Few people drive in SL anymore, since the fall of the telehubs...

A single shoe, left on the stairs by a digital Cinderella whose prince never came. Are all the good men in SL off building stuff, or does Cinderella need to hie herself off to Phat Cats to find her Prince Charming?

A misty forest paradise, ultramodern towers rearing up in the distance, locked away behind a banline wall. Would Extropia look like this when it was done? And would we have the wisdom and the strength to leave the banlines down and still preserve our dreams?

This last set of banlines forced us to detour north, where we came up against a steep face of rock, marked on the map as "Dragon Mountain". With all other alternate routes adding at least a day to our trip time, we decided to brave the heights.

I can't remember how long we climbed, up that sheer face, eyes always fixed on the ramparts above, never on the dizzying heights below. There were no regen tanks here...a fall would end our trip with a short, sharp, shock.

I can't remember how long we climbed, but my muscles can. We pierced the cloud layer, water condensing on our skin and mingling with with the rivers of sweat pouring off limbs burning like fire. The temperature had dropped considerably once we broke through the clouds, but we hardly noticed.

I lay panting for a few minutes at the top, silently cursing all the times I had put off my exercise regimen lately. I had been out of shape, soft, but this trip would make me hard again, if it didn't kill me first.

There was a house up there, all glass and curves and wood and stone. Hot springs bubbled around it invitingly. The faint scent of woodsmoke wafted from inside. Someone called this place home - Dragon Mountain. Right now I called it heaven.

"Natsumi, come look at this," I called out, noticing a still burning fire in the fireplace. I had left Natsumi behind at the clifftop to scout here briefly.

"Ooooohhhh...a fiiiirrrrrre," Natsumi purred.

Purred? I turned around to face my traveling companion.

"What's the matter, Argent? Why are you looking at me like that?" Natsumi, or at least someone with Natsumi's voice, cocked her head to the side, twitched her ears, and mewed.

Oh my...

To be Continued

Falling Leaves

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 22:35:05 GMT

I think it was Soph who came up with the idea.

"Think of it, dear. A cocktail party in the South Pacific, on the deck of an abandoned battleship. It'll be legendary!" she said, waving a hand as if to sweep away all the logistical details involved. I'm not sure why she thought up this plan, although I think it had something to do with a lack of warm clothes in her wardrobe. Fall weather is not conducive to someone for whom "casual wear" indicates latex stockings and a corset. Besides, this was also our last chance to throw a big party before the hard work of building Extropia began, and a good chance to bring in some last minute investors.

So, after some wrestling with logistical details, there I was on the deck of a decomissioned battlecruiser in the South Pacific, with a perfectly mixed dry martini in hand. I took a sip and smiled - Soph had brought in staff from the Martini Lounge to man the bar - perfect.

It wasn't just the drink that had me smiling, it was the solitude. The party had moved up the the command deck of the ship, leaving me in blissful solitude on the foredeck. It's funny, no matter how hard I try to fit into the dancing and rapid-fire jokes of a full-on SL party, I always seem to be more comfortable alone, or with one or two conversation partners. Chalk it up to too many days on the beach in Okinawa, I guess.

It was night in SL proper, but the sun was just coming up here, painting the sky and the ocean in beautiful reds and oranges. I turned to gaze at the sun, turning on the light filters on my eyes to keep from being blinded by the spectacle.

Back on Sansara the leaves would be turning the same reds and oranges that painted the sky here - Fall had come to SL, with winter not far behind. December would be my sixth-month rezday, a sort of milestone in the life of an AV, and it was coming up fast. I turned over the events of the last few months in my mind: Soph, Ciel, the hiking trip, Extropia. So much had happened, and so much still to be done.

I was so lost in thought that at first I failed to register the shadows coming out of the sun until they were almost on us...

The only sounds were the buzz of engines, the crashing of waves, and the tinkle of shattering glass as the martini glass slipped from my hand. For a moment I could only stare in shock at something that should not be bore down on our ship.

There were six of them, flying out of the rising sun in attack formation. I didn't need a pattern recognition program to recognize these planes, or the markings on their wings. The Mitsubishi A6M "Zero" was the terror of the skies for the better part of one of the bloodiest wars in Atomic world history. The lead plane had only his machine guns, but the wingmen were toting 60kg bombs. This meant they were armed for bear. The leader would strafe the deck of our ship to pick off anti-aicraft gunners, then the wingmen would drop bombs and send us to the bottom. Problem was, we didn't even have anyone manning the ships anti-aircraft - we weren't expecting an attack.

What all this meant for us was - the party would be a mess, Soph's Extropia pitch would be ruined, and there was no way in hell the people we rented this battlefleet from were going to return our cleaning deposit. I was not happy.

I want to tell you a secret.

Sometimes, when I get mad or stressed and forget myself, I can do things. Things that a human being, even a cyborg, shouldn't be able to do. I forget that I can be hurt, that I can die. I forget that a normal woman, no matter how athletic she is, should not be able to leap from the deck of a battlecruiser and onto the back of a figher plane moving at attack speed.

Nor should she be able land, draw her revolvers, and put one bullet each into the fuel tanks of said plane's wingmen.

I'm not sure why this is, although I suspect it has something to do with the hidden potential of this world, and my occasional and accidental ability to tap into it. All I know is sometimes it happens, and now was a good time for it to happen.

The Zero is a fragile plane. Maximized for speed and manueverability, it has little armor. The bullets from my revolvers, properly placed, were enough to send two of the wingmen spiraling down into the ocean in flames.

The Zero is also a very agile plane. Indeed it is so agile that amateur pilots have been known to break their own necks by oversteering their planes. It is said that the first enemy the Zero pilot must defeat is his own plane, but if he does he has gained a fearsome ally. Sometimes Second Life feels the same to me. So many people come here with stars in their eyes, only to get wrecked by the overwhelming task of steering themselves through this world. A few survive, and they grow stronger. The jury was still out on me, though, since I would not survive the next few minutes if the pilot of this plane decided to shake me off. I glanced briefly into the cockpit, expecting to catch a glimpse of a young man, maybe with a wife and kids at home and everything to lose, who had been sent off to die with only medal and a last drink of sake to show for it.

I was only mildly surprised to find the cockpit empty. SL is full of things like this: ghosts, fragments of history, shards of dreams. People and things chasing something they only half understand. I was not so different myself, once. How many of us are like these planes, following our preset plan of attack, unable to comprehend when forces outside our preconceptions and expectations act on us. We lose ourselves here, forget that the world of FL is watching us and making rules and laws that shape our future.

And, like these planes, we are unable or unwilling to accept that time may be passing us by. I used to think that SL was sliding downwards into entropy, now I'm not so sure. The leaves are not just falling from the tree, they are rotting and giving life back, and the tree sprouts new leaves in a flash, only to let them fall too. A thousand autumns and a thousand springs are sped up and smashed together in a riot of change. Friends come and go, empires rise and fall, rules change. Changes in the atomic world come fast, fast enough to scare us. In SL the pace is so manic it terrifies.

Below me on the command deck of the battleship Soph's party continued. Down there they were planning the future, or at least trying to keep it from running off the rails. I don't know if we will reach their Singularity in my lifetime. Indeed, some part of me hopes we do not, but I know that change is coming one way or the other, and I only hope there is some place for me in the new world.

I fired my last bullet, downing another Zero. To my horror, I noticed another wing of planes off to my left, over the other cruiser we had rented for crowd overrun. This attack was not going to end until the battleships were destroyed. The ghost planes would carry out the last wishes of their long lost pilots, even if it meant making a kamikaze attack on the deck.

I don't know what gave me the idea. It seems crazy now, but in that moment I knew I needed to get to the lead plane if I was going to stop this sensless theater of war. I tried to focus for one last jump...

I barely made it, almost dropping my revolvers in the process. I didn't need them for what I was going to do though, and if this didn't work there was no going back anyway. I leaned over the cockpit of the plane, placing my gloved hand on the cold glass. I tried to relax, to be friendly, soothing, open...

"Listen to me..." I spoke it...willed it. If this machine had any soul, any dreams, I wanted to get through to it.

"Kiite...atashi no kotoba kiite..." I spoke to it in it's mother tongue now. Softly, so softly. Listen...listen to my words...

It had to understand me. It had heard Japanese on the lips of the workers who built it, laboring in the factories in Tokyo, it had heard it on the lips of the pilot who had flown it. It would know them even as a child in it's mothers womb responds to the voice of a person it had never seen.

I began to sing now, clinging to the side of the plane as it began to dive towards the deck of the battleship in a final kamikaze run.

Yurikago no uta wo, kanariya ga utau yo,
nenne ko nenne ko nenne ko yo...

The canary sings, the lullaby song
Sleep child, sleep baby, sleep little one

How many of those pilots had heard that song, on the lips of their mothers when they were only babies, or sung by their wives to their own children as they went off to war? Memories of home were the bane of every kamikaze - more than one pilot returned to base before his attack run, claiming "engine trouble". They were punished, but pilots were in short supply in the last days of the war, so more often than not they were put back to work. Would their planes remember the routine? I held on tight, gazing into the empty cockpit, trying to call out that desperate connection...

Suddenly, something shifted. The plane began to climb out of it's futile dive, almost clipping the mast of the command deck. It's brothers followed suit now, winging over to turn back out to sea, temporarily diverted by confusing dreams of mothers or wives, or a carrier ship, waiting to hold them in their arms.

I jumped down to the command mast and watched them head off to sea. I watched for a long time, until they faded to tiny specks in the distance. Something told me they would be back again, when they had forgotten the dream I had given them, but it was enough that they were gone for today.

Some changes can't be stopped, but we can face them. We can choose to be the plane blindly following it's course, or the voice that sings it onto a new one.

And, if we pull it off, we can be back in time for another martini.

(Filmed entirely in East Blue SIM. Thanks to sophrosyne_sl for contributing a couple of the shots for this, and to innumerable people for blogging about SL and inspiring some of the ideas I expressed here.)